An Easy Framework For Making a New Friend

Lay
2 min readJan 19, 2023

I have been on the road as a nomad for 2 years now.

Along the way, I have done my best to be social:

  • Engaged in foreigner/nomad mixers
  • Used expats apps for meeting travelling people like me
  • I stayed in hostels trying to get a bit of the social vibe
  • Etc.

And all of these things helped me a ton.

But if I had to start all over again, this is the simple framework I wish I had for learning how to make a new friend:

Step 1: Focus on the connection

Avoid transactional interactions at all costs! They are friendship repellents. Instead, try to get to know the other person by being genuinely curious about something they have/are/said/did. This has been my best starting point, and it worked every time!

Step 2: Listen

Before trying to think about all the cool things you have to say about yourself, listen. Pay attention to the details, the story, feelings and drivers that the other person is communicating. You will find much more about them and learn new things about their background, culture or hobbies that could lead to your next adventure!

Step 3: Share

After you have done the first two, then it’s time for sharing. Share about your motivations too, but prioritise talking about the things that the other said that resonated with you or caught your attention. This will just keep the conversation alive and exciting for both!

Once all these three are done, you are ready to plan a new adventure with your new friend :)

Read this post and more on my Typeshare Social Blog

--

--

Lay

Cult survivor. Raising awareness about manipulative tactics, psychological abuse, indoctrination and cult-like organizations